A happy dog is a dog who not only gets enough exercise and mental stimulation, but a dog who knows 100% with complete confidence and security what their role in life is and where they stand. In a pack of canines there is the leader who keeps order, setting rules that must be followed and making all of the decisions, and then there are the followers who look up to the leader for guidance. Both leader and followers are content when the alpha member makes the rest of the pack feel like they are safe and the leader sees their structure being upheld. The leader is happy and the followers are happy, because both feel their survival depends upon this order. The leader is the stronger minded being. The being who displays a natural authority and is able to make good, confident decisions. It's all in the mind and energy which is being projected, size has nothing to do with it.
Humans and dogs can only peacefully coexist when the dogs are in the follower role. Human society cannot allow dogs to bark, growl, snap at or bite another human whenever they please in order to tell them they are not happy with what they are doing. If our dogs get away and are running the streets it cannot be the dog who decides when they must come back. We cannot let the dog decide when it is ok for us to leave for work. We cannot let the dog decide who is allowed to walk into your home and who is not. We cannot let the dog decide who is allowed to touch "their" ball or sit in "their" chair.
By not listening to what your dog wants when the dog is the leader of your pack you are causing them to become mentally unstable, often with stress and/or anxiety. In the dog world leaders are allowed to leave the followers, however followers are not allowed to leave the leaders (separation anxiety). A dog who is allowed to be the leader has humans who leave the house when they did not give them permission. They come inside the house when they did not tell them they could. They don't wake up or go to bed when the dog tells them they can and they don't eat when the dog says they must.
Dogs who flop back and forth from leader to follower are always testing to see where they stand. Most do not want the position and give it up easily, but still have the nagging instinct to take over when they sense weakness. These dogs are not truly happy either, because they never really know who is going to be leading at any given moment and therefore cannot feel secure.
We cannot expect our dogs to behave and listen to us if we are not consistently showing them that we are the leaders. Dogs instinctually crave structure and order, and look for the strongest minded being to be that leader. If they detect that the person in charge is not strong enough, by instinct the dog will begin to take over that roll. Dogs do not care if that being is human or canine. If they feel they are stronger than the others around them they will begin to take over in order to "save" their pack.
If you do not communicate to the dog that you do not agree, how is the dog to know and learn? Dog's need discipline, not punishment. Never hit or scream at a dog. Dogs do not understand nor interpret anger well. Positive reinforcement is a wonderful training method for keeping a dog from developing bad behavior problems. By rewarding the good you encourage that behavior. When you have a dog who has already developed a negative behavior positive reinforcement training does not always work well. For example, tossing a treat when the dog is not growling does not teach the dog not to growl. One cannot fix aggression with treats. This does not mean you are to be overbearing and forceful with your dog by any means. Read, "What does it mean to be dominant?" for more details. It's all about proper human to canine communication.
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